Almost Broken Hearted
by Takato Lover16
Summary: I can't afford to be entirely of a broken hearted nature, for then you'd be nowhere inside.
1. The Flood

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Almost Broken Hearted

Prologue – The Flood

There was tar bright as stars; there were streetlights not grey, when the draughts emphasise changing, moulding as clay; then just one comes in sight all alone candlelight, the escaped humming bird, steadily taking flight.

The rivers soon flooding, all the post-noon smudging, spectators of the vary came across into dusk, the storm drains came waiting, garbage can was sailing; mammoths of a brass band marched waving a tusk.

We were me with you, you with me; calm amongst the sea, together floating upon some kind of platform of heart; water proofed spilling, no danger of filling; us, endless before heartbreak blew its dart.


	2. Unresolved Comma

**Once more back again, I give you chapter 1! :'D **

**I haven't really got a lot to say this chapter, just which, as always, feedback would be bloody marvellous… I'm so English! :'P**

Almost Broken Hearted

Chapter 1 - Unresolved comma

Evening, some dark point of 16:18pm;

There you are, not checking your watch, over there, with all your perfect friends – thoughts too sorrowful to be bitter escaped a blonde, windswept boy.

"Hey, Takeru, are you okay?" Tai, finding himself alone through his love's absence, flashed the shorter teenager a smile and concerned but not really, eyes.

"Where's Matt?" Attempting to distract the brunette, Takeru smiled assuredly and feigned a confused glance all around.

"That's not going to work – I may look stupid, but I'm not blind" The taller adolescent froze suddenly, Tai's words submerging uncomfortably slow.

"Look, I know you don't want anyone to know, but I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who's seen it; I know you and Davis had been dating in the past, and now something really bad has happened between the two of you to make you fall apart from each other"

"So, what?" Suddenly unfazed, acting cool, Takeru hid behind the rhetorical question.

"So, I want to help you with that"

"I don't need any help, Tai" A smile, believable enough, but not for a trained eye like the brunette's.

"Alright – I'll buy that fake smile shit, but how long will you?"

Thankful for the perfect timing of his stomach rumbling, Takeru jolted through the fire escape and made his excuses.

"I'm starving – I'm going to get a hotdog"

Licking remnants of ketchup from his bottom lip, teeth dragging ungainly, empty receiving, Takeru neared without really meaning to, Davis. Achingly unable to divert, he closed a little more distance with every whisper, turtles overtaking easily – fireworks began in the husk, lighting the sky in some spectrum of exploding headlines.

Pop! Footsteps, orange, turquoise bang! Pink, dark, crash! Yellow, me, blue, you; whiz! Silence; us;

"Buddy, how've you been?" Excited, ignorant closeness around the blonde's shoulders – as if a bridge still hinged solidly between them.

"Fine, thank you; and yourself?" Perhaps stupidly, Takeru, having missed his old lover, plopped down next to him and smiled as best he could manage, feeling the wasp sting of bitter sweetness.

"Let me introduce you" Random names to faces followed, Takeru paying no attention – uncaring of Davis' new whores.

"Davie's told us all about you" The blonde fidgeted uneasily, fingers meddling wthin the awkwardness.

"You see? We can be friends" Davis announced too loudly, proud he was right; he still had Takeru chasing him, even after everything.

"Are you just going to pretend like we never happened?"

"Look, if you think he's still in love with you, you're clearly deluded"

"Actually, I was just leaving" Tall, blue eyes stood and began to leave – tears filling up the seams of watered down charcoal stone.

"See, Davie? He was good for nothing, after all"

Something inside Takeru's good natured soul splintered with the near distant hearing, and he snapped around, few, enormous steps to the mouth who'd insulted him.

"His fucking name is Davis! D-A-V-I-S, do you understand, you stupid bitch?"

Billions of eyes with mixed sending of aggression, confusion and utter disbelief and rage; cocktailed reactions; all settling with Takeru's nose bleeding and the attackers too cool to stick around.

Davis grabbed a tissue from the table and approached Takeru, engulfing his sore nose with the white sheet, stained easily like red wine spilt on a woman's favourite pearly curtains.

"Thanks for sticking up for the correct pronunciation of my name" Surprisingly, they both laughed – laughter without that ancient overshadow of sorrow.

"Just so you know, I only met them tonight, and only sat with them because I was feeling lonely" Unsure of how to react, Takeru took over control of holding the makeshift bandage, and just stayed put, and silent.

To either put his soul to rest, or to spark a love long lost, Takeru took his chances and prepared for the inevitable – a heart-to-heart or a door-in-face with his love of so long ago;

"Christmas Eve, when we'd met, some random acquaintance of my mother's friend's cousin's brother; that night, I was a little upset about something stupid; you came to me and spoke of a promise, a promise of flying me to a place better than where I was – a place I could finally be happy"

"And didn't I show you that place?" Davis, fingers almost reaching out, dropped a question off.

"You did" Tar seemed bright as stars.

"But after you deserted me there, I realised I was just your whore"

"Deserted you? You suggested we break up, so you could focus fully on your exams!"

"You never said a word to me – just left me to figure it out!"

"I didn't know what to say!"

Although in the nothing that followed both boys felt regret pinch their chests, the next phrase yet held a spat out origin, and split another few bloodstains, Davis spilled words as big as Mars;

"I'm sorry for breaking your heart!"

"You actually think you're that special? It was just a scratch – that's all – an irritating, little scratch!" Takeru, crying inside, hissed along the grazes in pebbly patched pews.

Pictures of their past, windows of memories, soundproof, forced to watch all those mistakes once more, and once more struggling for words, just an unresolved comma standing, no shadow of the next action, no queue.

Light lagoon pitched, opening the quiet valve, not wanting of anymore.

"With you leaving me with the rain, and now, drowning me in what's left,"

Snow – sharp fragments, up from up, down to down.

"With you being so sweet, even now;"

Quicker than cyan evaporated, the greyed eyes of Takeru stared – stared, not a complex stare, neither simple – a stare – a stare.

"What if my heart finally broke today?" Thrusting vocals from the edgy passages, Takeru yelled outright, teeth glaring, throbbing, unmasked.

Davis stood steadily, foliage reaching inward.

Green trainers heavily treading away, bus sliding doors, click of travel ticket, slow to lastly leaving, clouds seeming the same all the while.

Purple burgundy unmoving, still stood still, eyebrows remained maybe aggression, statue like stillness – soldiering unable fadedness. Lips interrupted with one single statement, ringing through what was left amongst the fallout of nuclear love;

"Then mine would break tomorrow"


	3. Belated Yesterdays

**The most inappropriate song to listen to while writing a chapter like this: **

**Sheena Easton – Morning Train **

**LOL! :P **

**I love waking up and not knowing exactly what I'm going to write; just the slightly planned spontaneity, and I am the cat that got the cream… : P **

**Anyway; another chapter up – and that's about it. : P **

**Feedback would be lovely. :') :'D :'D**

Almost Broken Hearted 

Chapter 2 - Belated Yesterdays

**A person of whom I couldn't help but love, a fantasy of perfection with no arguments, no fights, and no doors walked out of - someone with all the qualities I adore, that simply, was hesitated, belated before. **

**For someone with all this, I'd wait until the day I died; ignoring all else, feigning disinterest in all kinds of it; all those happy endings in chase, those words of dreams coming true – surely, by now, through all my pessimism – chucking hopes of finding the one made for me in everything but the next – even locking the door once given a slightest mirage of a key; **

**All the time hesitating, waiting before time, for someone with whom I was destined; yet through all the waiting, I was waiting simply for someone exactly like you;**

**Yet now – a person who loves me too, will be anyone but you. **

"Only girls write diaries" Startled look up, breathe in ear, grinning Tai, angry blush.

"I don't care – and it's not a diary"

"What is it, then?" Looking forward to the untruthful alibi, Tai took a seat upon the blonde's bed.

"Why aren't you fucking Matt?"

"He's gone to the store to get some dinner for us. Now, what were you writing?" Thinking he'd gained enough time, Tai repeated.

"Some revision – do you have any idea how many exams I have coming up?" Frantically closing everything, blood returning slightly, grateful for a prayer answered – a miracle come true; he spun around on the black office chair like chair.

"Sure" Tai was unconvinced, and this made a pouting seriously Takeru.

Feeling tension already, Tai thought it best if he spoke the reason he'd entered;

"Once, your brother and I separated for a little while – and in that little while, I tried to hide all the pain I felt, all the smiles I just didn't mean anymore; it was clear to everyone – my life was so bleak without him"

"And what does that have to do with me?"

There dropped a black and white backdrop, and still yet a question.

"You know, you're not doing a very good job at being over Davis – think about that" Cyan eyes to their owner's bare feet, then back vertical, angrily.

"This isn't one of Matt's love songs, Tai, this is real life – where people just say the things you want to hear, and use you to get a quick fuck!"

"Why did you run away?" Tai's steady voice.

"I didn't run away" Boiling hot just above a whisper.

"Well, apparently you were too busy with exams, so you thought it'd be best if you two broke apart"

"You don't know anything"

"I know you" Halt inside everything.

"And I know that if you found someone you truly loved, you wouldn't let anything stand in your way, not to mention exams which you don't give a shit about anyway"

"Look, if you didn't like him, you should've just told him" Finally, the brunette's noise ceased.

"But he's the one who broke up with me!"

"And whose fault was that?" Quick retort, like the snap of a mouse trap.

"I just showed him the door – he walked out by himself"

"Very clever – don't tell me you actually, yourself, believe that bullshit!" Tai, maddened now, Tai arose and slammed both his hands down either side of his argument rival.

Shocked quiet and a little intimidated, Takeru didn't move – just looked.

"He thought you just wanted to end it with him, and I guess he was right" Quieter this time, invitation for another fiery hoop for the blonde.

"I return to the beginning – you don't know anything; now leave me the fuck alone"

A resounding crash of thunder, beam jolts foreshadowing; the argument continued without end, lights flashed, then nothing – just dark.

"Now where are those fucking candles?" Takeru, releasing all his frustrations toward the innocent wax in hiding, Tai fumbled randomly, searching for something he knew not the place of.

"How would I know?" The brunette asked, though not rhetorically enough, it seemed.

"Come on, you spend most of your time here, fucking my brother!" Slightly higher pitched voice held true rage now, though Tai had to smile as an idea for humour popped into his head.

"Actually, I'm a virgin"

Blue eyes in the dark, inquisitively.

"Really?" Takeru questioned, genuine.

"No" Matter-of-factly spoken, pause; laugh, quiet, sliding sound, still dark.

"Ow!" A Direct hit to Tai's open eyes, soft pillow not seeming so soft anymore.

"You're such a fucking liar" Trying to seem still angry, but unable to withdraw a laugh, Takeru's lips curved upward, and he smiled – a first true smile in five hundred thousand seconds – more or less.

In the next four minutes which followed the strike, Tai had lighted several candles and scattered them around the bedroom, feint dims, orange not grey; both boys stationed themselves upon Takeru's bed, one cross-legged, and the other spread close open.

"I want him to see I'm passing him by" A sudden, misunderstood statement.

"Sorry?" Takeru, thinking he'd missed half a conversation, asked.

"With Matt, him being quite shy, and me a little likewise, I had this dream where he'd just suddenly hold me, kiss me – and show me the love he always speaks of" Like a robot, Tai spoke lowly.

"And what happened in the end?" Sounding sympathetic, and actually caring, for a reason he couldn't quite yet comprehend,

"There's an old saying "Love has no murderer, but abandonment" " Still, brown eyes.

"Well, what happens between you two, now?" The blonde again, like an impatient child waiting for his 'Triple Chocolate Fudge and Toffee Mega Ice-Cream Explosion'.

"It's still a dream"

Somehow, then, between the fire and the flames, two mouths crashed destructively together, forcing closed like unfitting jigsaw pieces; Tai's saliva wriggled throughout Takeru's own, tongues uncaring of the consequences – the outside world sealing billions away.


	4. Alone With How We Were

**I want to apologise, straight away, that this chapter isn't very long. But I've expressed everything I wanted to, and thought it'd just make it cluttered if any more pointless words were added. **

**Feedback would be lovely. :') **

Almost Broken Hearted 

Chapter 3 – Alone With How We Were

Lying in his bed, Davis, ears half-asleep, pictured a listen to the whisky wind; riddled circle hourglass, the whisky wind, love hearted words; thinking of Takeru – confusion seeping through – wooden glass vaults within a few.

Blankets slow, edging nearer off, exposed hip, thigh and arch; a sat up motion, honey rubbed from black lines, peer around darkness; not yet neighbouring dawn.

Timid toes trod bashfully, maybe before soles sank slowly, absorbing cold and shivering.

Desk lighted dim moonlight, a picture of two.

"Such a simple time, Takeru – you were you; I was I"

Seated, pushed back, base of legs just dangling; remembrances of beautiful dawns, precious nights, and warm both sides of bed – where thoughts of dying without Takeru seemed nonexistent.

"Then we got to that part, where we cracked the other's heart" Tears pierce lemons into the strawberry fondue.

Bunch of hair in clumped palms, exaggerating spiky terrain; lap stood, movement over to the ancient corner of his room; a purple wall, between all the reds and greys.

Insufficient light for even a reflection; almost aimlessly, Davis snatched the path away, the hundreds of weeks behind him preparing for their turn in the spotlight.

The Mirror hung frigidly, fracture bottom right corner, the rest, dusty.

"I'm sorry, Takeru, for leaving you the way I did; with no goodbye, no farewell, no promise of a return"

Vision to the split – jagged.

"I'm entirely to blame for the cracks in your heart – spending all our time together wishing to someday hold you"

"Though you've told me the truth, and I'm not confused; I still can't hold my distance"

Looking, this time, back to that old picture;

"What can I do?"

Problems of heart desperate for company, Davis, yet dry-eyed, twisted door knob releasing darkness of corridor; seventeen steps descent, blurry glass slightly light tinted, sounds of heart monitors seeped through the worn woodwork.

Fingertips embraced the gracelessness of their breathing, shatter through the door opening outward – draft flinging, obliviously.

"Mum, could I speak to you about something, please?" Hand to wrist, weight from one foot to the other – feeling pathetic, dressed half nakedly.

"Can't you see I'm watching television?" The woman nearly snapped – hating to snatch attention away from the hospital drama for a lone instant.

"Oh, I'm sorry; it doesn't matter. Never mind. I'm sorry" Spoken in a rush, then a retreat back inside his room.

Wooden blinds bashing, windward gusts aggressive; a flight to the window – shutting movement – quiet.

Forcing high t-shirt downhill, conservative of warmth that was just not there; dropping onto fluffy loneliness, with a flash of lightning and an envelopment of thunder, Davis twitched a pillow – unhappy at its location.

Medium twitch mutating into a sort of infant's tantrum; over powerfully crashes each sack of feathers onto the other, drowning within the not alone distress creases.

"You knew love was never truly there – you could feel it in his kiss" Unknown of why, but knowing, burgundy trudged through those misty, marsh covered mountaintops.

Tranquilised, suddenly, Davis lay motionless.

"How did it ever happen, that I had you, even for a second?" No longer able to choose what was said, his heart chose the lions.

"Before we met,"

Eyes close.

"I was just another dreamer"

Quiet, as if asleep.

"Yet now,"

"I'm just one more cursed believer"


	5. To Kill My Angels

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Almost Broken Hearted 

Chapter 4 – To Kill My Angels

A stray hair drops down in a swift, pointless dropping, leaves rustle in the outside breeze; Takeru lay alone, waiting for Tai to return; puddle of duvet surrounds his naked frame in a seconds burning slowly by – thoughts of last night banging his ribcage to nothing:

Bare chests brushed brash as one, fingers rough, soft skin agitated lips to lips.

"I know it's over with me and Davis, bu-"

"What about me?" Tai had finished the question.

"I know it's wrong, we're wrong; it's impossible"

Tai gripped Takeru's prying arms to his sides, and stared deep into pools of aqua; the brunette's own caramelised pools narrowed in some emotion.

"Takeru, listen to me" A simple order.

Blonde bangs hung messily, scattered across pale features, attention giving sight – luminous heartbeat.

"If you really care about Davis and Matt, you need to forget about us; if you really care about me, you need to leave me lonely – leave and forget about love"

Handed his earlier discarded shirt, Takeru, in contemplation, woodenly received it and examined each crease, as if a secret message were decoded into the sewed linings. The tanned teenager turned his back in defeat, ruffling through his own yesterday, late night attire.

"Fuck 'em" Two words.

"You need someone to hold you – I'm not going anywhere" Ashamed his bravely strong mask didn't work; Tai turned slowly quick, eyes to the ground.

He opened his mouth.

"No. I've made my decision" A finger to defined cheekbone – another trip to Brunette Jungle.

"I never saw it before, but now, now when I'm alone with you; I want nobody else"

Feeling nauseous with guilt, Takeru rolled out from his bed, resisting the urge to curl up and die.

No-one was home.

Bathroom:

Blocked nose irritancy, face inside fogged up mirror; hand to shower tap, steam hanging; low eyes, cascading lips – Takeru tiptoed across, grasped green toothbrush, and began to stroke pearled boulders.

Spitting out the peppermint residue, blonde bangs dangled their way into the shower.

Fresh, washed, yet still feeling grotty, Takeru became downstairs, almost to leave, when he spied something;

There, upon the dining table; packet of two sausage rolls and two Cheese Triangles – his favourite.

A note lay beneath:

'**Hope you feel better soon, brother! :')' **

Tears twisting the insides of his eyes; wishing to undo everything, Takeru silently tossed the items into his backpack, and shut them up.

That grey pavement every bit the same as every time before; before; mid afternoon fogging unclearly, black skinny jeans walked along.

Backpack, art folder, FBI like camera hanging around neck, Takeru trod through the high school perimeter, slight apprehension of who he'd meet.

Trains of students, merrily conversing, chattering sound like that of white noise; diamond cut gardens embodying an urban style finish, tall, empowering structures lay distant and near, breathing some kind of invisible authority of eyes in the back of heads.

Changing directions frequently, unsure of where he wanted to head, the pale boy's shoes hovered around three or four destinations in their minds; tiny moving dots of the floor, moving nonetheless –the blonde fiddling with camera lenses.

"Hey, Takeru, I didn't think I'd see you here today" Matt.

"And why's that?" Surprised, high pitch.

"Well, Tai said you felt ill last night, so went to bed early"

"Oh, that; yeah, I'm feeling a lot better now, though" Scratching his head innocently, and yanking his cheeks upward, forcing a defining of his cheek bones, Takeru wished for nothing but dimples.

Then, Matt hugged him – unknowing of pushing deeper the dagger impaling his brother's heart.

"I'm glad"

Then, the worst happened – they just stood there.

"Anyway; I need to get to class, so, see you later" Without really waiting for any acknowledgment, Takeru was again on his way to his yet known end of walking.

Here he felt himself again, here on a grassy piece of land, goal posts positioned equal breadths apart. Hexagonal ball appeared lonely, long fingers bent to retrieve – no wind – no clouds; sun a little closer than first thought, or not thought of at all.

Emotion fogging world, soccer ball grasped loosely tight, hymn of the net, beckoning.

Takeru, one foot on black and white, thrust a shot forward, chequers rebounded uselessly.

"You need to follow through more with the strike" An intensely familiar voice from behind – no spin around;

Davis, soccer ball of his own, stood like a parent behind a forced overachiever.

"I don't care" Tossing with no bounce, just mucking up the grass, Takeru left, opposite of straight past his old lover.

"You wanna go get some ice-cream?"

"You've got practice, and I've got class" Almost on instinct, straight away defence.

Just silence, plus a moment of weakness.

"You're such an idiot – you'll freeze" A sweeping hand across Davis' soccer kit – many locations entirely bare.

A strangely assuring shrug kept them along the whole way to their favourite ice-cream parlour.

Lost in the storm of two silly straws, lost, in the icebergs of vanilla, compiled in spiral raspberry stillness, engraved chalk lines of the owners' past.

Honey to now turquoise.

"When that morning seemed so far away, the dusk before we reached the bend; when we thought we'd just play okay and togetherness would never end"

"We thought even if we fell asleep, the sun wouldn't not retreat"

All focus to the red and white chequered tablecloth.

"You wrote that almost a year ago – it was such a pretty poem, Davis"

"I just thought of you"

Tanned jaw line, like a phantom, glided across the table; almost mutually nearing facial bones, Takeru closed his in frustration and clenched both fists tight.

"Screw you!" Angry cyan exploded open; all colours – emeralds, honeys, azures, dirty peacocks, hazy turquoises – became staring in bafflement.

Reaching back, quickly snatched belongings, then a swift burst of an exit; Davis remaining with all that was broken.

"I'm really sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry." Apologising bottomless, the teary eyed honey couldn't keep that sound of your when you're crying from his vocal cords, and disappeared out into the cold, in hope it'd freeze all his sorrows.

Blue, gloveless digits dial Takeru's number and brought the device up to a white dotted, burgundy covered icily reddened ear.

""You've reached Takeru" "And Davis" "Hey, shut up" "You shut up" "You shut up" "You shut up" "Jinx! No Comebacks" "That's cheating – you're just a cheater!" "At least I don't have to shut up!" "Well… Oh, crap! This thing's still on!" "Shit! Erm… Please leave a message after the beep""

Beep.

A self hating sob now in its maximum height, phone turned completely off; Davis, each step inducing more tear drops, hurried along the usual way home.

Ringtone noise long muffled, Takeru crawled from the shadows, a little after Davis' departure of icy waterfalls.

Just one thought pierced through and through – scabs of heart scratched away and away:

He loves me; loves me, but already I've betrayed him.


	6. Nothing Tuesdays, Empty Ds, Es and As

Nothing Tuesdays, Empty Ds, Es, and As

I'm not a great believer in perfection in any kind of loves – all I've ever wanted is someone with whom I could send my love, unconditionally.

Davis skipped a stone along iced over pond, cocoa snow sprung up, but dropped soon thereafter. Curled twigs lay dead, unmoving, sun ceased its struggle.

Friction warmth overrated, he placed the bag of bread back into his backpack – succumbing to the fact that, after all, zero ducks would be around a frozen water patch; Takeru had been right, all that time ago.

But at least, if one had been left behind, all alone, it'd at least have some lunch.

"Davis, Davis Motomiya?"

An old friend of theirs, peeping below copper bangs.

"Sora! I didn't know you were living around here again" No reflection – ice not thin enough.

"Actually, I'm only here for the weekend – family trip"

"But enough about me; how've you and Takeru been?"

And just like that, Davis didn't know what to say.

"Merry Christmas!" Those chants rang out beyond the moon and back.

"All I'd like to do is dance" A voice had said.

Looking up from the wood of the bar, Takeru's eyes traced where the words had escaped; burgundy haired boy; he wondered if this person had even realized his speech.

Bored himself, he then revealed his own voice:

"And you're not the only one"

And just like that, there was no turning back;

That night, two sofas, budged apart together:

"Look, I know its three o'clock in the morning;"

"But would it be out of the question, to ask if you'd like to talk?"

No answer.

Undeterred, Davis began a whistle, budging deeper littlie away in a feigning wave of exit;

"That tune" Noise ceased.

"What about it?"

"It's nothing"

Twenty six days of volcano eruptions later:

"I can see that you're lonely" Davis to Takeru.

"I'm not lonely" Careless, to anybody not looking.

"Now, why would you say that if you are?"

"Precisely because I'm not" Not maddened – believing himself, somewhat.

"You're such a silly boy"

"And you're not my brother"

Or was it two ocean's dawning before this, or then? Then:

"My heart, it's all cracks – you won't want it" Only confessed into the loneliness of four in the morning.

All light all out; wishes of moments again, though belated too late; stupidly forsaken – silly.

Darkness; figuring out why Davis wanted to be so close; wanted Takeru to say the same sorts of things he did – to whistle that tune of rain, rain conveying those loosed eyes of dreaming; make-believe, pre-written pages of them.

Another four full moons, and that whole way back;

Swimming locker rooms, sprained ankle, and restrained tears.

Takeru budged close to the much shorter Davis, both drenched; bunched bangs swung not a little; a sniff, like not at all; that of an injured infant – it could have been helped.

That ancient whistle became so again, without restraint from the paving, and lyrics splitting at the seams:

"Oh well, in five years time we could be walking around a zoo with the sun shining down over me and you, and there'll be love in the bodies of the elephants turning up; put my hands over your eyes, but you peek through; and there'll be"

"Sun, sun, sun" Both of them, then.

"All over our bodies; sun, sun, sun all down our necks; and there'll be sun, sun, sun all over our faces, and sun, sun, sun" Emptily tiled surrounding, getting quieter.

Tears cracked the sides of Takeru's eyes; the sweet lyrics – corrupted poisonous along his path.

Lonely nights were all that followed that; until one particularly unromantic setting: just outside, near a hot dog stand – mustard and ketchup sticking to side slits of lips.

"I know you've probably heard this a trillion times before, and think it's just something said, especially since we only met on Christmas Eve, and I'm not very good with words, and I always end up screwing things up, an-"

"Don't talk. Just let it float out"

Takeru had not yet held an idea to what was about to be released, unaware of his shattering guard; those honey eyes, the same, even all the way back then, deep grayness of wall slab, orange flicker – ivory reddened purple potted plants.

"I love you"

Their closeness, their friendship, their talks; It had all occurred so naturally; Takeru simply froze, unknowing, or all along blocked by his cracked heart – it was love.

"Davis?" Sora's voice – back to reality.

Inside memories, it seemed to last hours,

Yet like 'Narnia, it'd been but seconds.

"We're doing fine" Drawn up lips, quick words of untruth.

"I knew it – I truly think you two will last forever" Overjoyed, so sweetly selfless.

Then, she appeared saddened.

"What's wrong, Sora?"

"Oh, nothing"

"Sora" A stern look and voice combo.

"I've just been thinking…"

"When me and Tai broke up, all I could think of was how we would've been together if he wasn't so enclosed and impregnable; I hated him for how he was, and never let him close again"

Thoughts back to the brunette – sick back into his chest.

"But then, after everything,"

"It's wasn't him without me, but me without him" Staring blankly down, Sora was obviously hurting.

Footprint closer, snow unable to shiver – sun able to gleam;

"I sometimes think when two people are in love it causes hundreds of problems: jealousy, heartache, arguments; but at least they have someone to make it all better; someone to hold them in bed at night – someone to love" Hardly looking, but looking.

"For what you have with Takeru; I envy you, Davis – I really do"

Feeling empty, perhaps contracted from Sora, or her naivety – Davis rolled his arms around her shoulders, tips of fingers on tanned white neck.

Caramelized honey, almost exact replicas of her own, closed; she appreciated the closeness, absorbing all the usually lost causes of signs of affection, of any kind.

Apparently an unselfish act, but Davis was the main benefactor; Sora's heat akin yet completely unlike his mother, who he had no memory of ever embracement.

A simple few sixths of two miles' distance, Takeru Takeishi thought some thoughts; alone, in his starry bathroom:

He always did all he could, just to make me happy; tried his very best to break through my fucking frozen soul.

If all I'm destined to be is turning away, there's no point wasting both our hearts; that's what I truly thought.

For a love like his again, I'd be waiting limitlessly.

For him to love again, I'll break my own heart.

Freezing everything else, Takeru stood leaning, weight just collapsed, and no poise – graceless.

Nails scraping over previous lines of self-hate, Takeru thought of how easy it'd be to make all the pain go away, as every time before for that.

A blurrily see-through tear drop; then a crimsoned one lay empty.


	7. The End of the Beginning after the End

**I'm quite disappointed in this chapter; the one I've been preparing for the most, but the one that just turned to shambles. I hope at least some of you can understand things through the wreckage, and continue reading. **

**Anyway; **

**Feedback would be lovely. :') :') **

Almost Broken Hearted 

Chapter 6 – The End of the Beginning after the End 

Blade dragged slowly, deep indent, red liquid flooded the line.

"Stop it!" A male's voice – strong arms prised the razor away.

"Why?"

Turn around – arm dropped, blood descended swiftly.

"Oh, it's you" More disgusted with himself, Takeru spat toward Tai.

"Let me see" Tanned hand to his; pull away.

"Fuck you"

"Fine – bleed to death"

Though the brunette knew that happening would be extremely unlikely, he knew Takeru's naivety and paranoia over his health and well being would suggest the opposite.

Hesitantly, a crimson outstretched limb.

After scampering around the medicine cupboard, Tai surfaced with a seemingly endless roll of bandage and medical cream of some variety.

"This may sting a little" He dabbed the white absorbency around, turning pink within the sharp electricity and Takeru squinting, though it hurt only ten percent of the initial action.

Next, Tai swung the white thickness across and across several times, making sure to cover the marks entirely; only then noticing the almost dozens of other, smaller indents long turned to gray scars. With a tight knot tied, by the arm, they led into the bedroom.

Blue and green duvet, which, according to 'The Hotel Inspector' is the worst combination ever, Takeru didn't care, and sat down casually, legs turned into a cross, and Tai did kind of equal, though longed long ways, shorter short legs.

"Now, about the other night" Brunette voice – curious of the next phrase, spoke.

"It was just a moment of weakness" Quick, obviously rehearsed.

"Is that why you were cutting yourself?" The words bringing physicality to his actions, Takeru felt nauseous.

"I've been doing it for about eight or nine months, now"

"This is all Davis' fault" Tai stated casually, checking beneath the bandage for further blood loss.

"It's got nothing to do with Davis!" Yank away, enraged eyes.

"Why are you defending him?"

"Because all he's ever done is love me!"

"This is my fault and my fault alone. I choose to do this – it's my fault; my entire fault" Wanting to cry, but unwilling to appear vulnerable.

"If Davis loves you so much, why hasn't he tried to stop you doing this?"

"He doesn't know" To blink or not to blink.

"It's pretty obvious"

"You didn't know!"

"I'm not your boyfriend"

"Neither is he!" That Tai remained calm only maddened the blonde further.

Stalemate – Takeru stared, and so did Tai.

Ring!

The doorbell bellowed within the silence, capturing all four ears, perked up, clock ticked by, cushions remained not raining purple.

"I'm going. Stay here" The pale boy ordered, with no apparent objection from his argument rival.

Not bothering to light his way, relying purely on his knowledge of house layout, and evening glow through blinds, Takeru wondered a wonder of who might be there – thinking the realistic thought of it probably being Matt, back early from his gig.

His steps to the door were endless, thought his steps to the door were exceptionally fast.

Wooden rectangle, indented pattern at the edges, cascading around in a sort of criss-crossed formation, much like an aerobatics team.

Door swung simply open.

Burgundy haired boy, side bangs longer than usual, faced straight ahead and seemed intent. Takeru took a step back through stuck still thoughts freezing his eyes' placement. Little nose twitched, eyes honey, eyebrows halted down but up, just not now.

"In wanting to get you back, I probably shouldn't begin like this, right?" Nervous laughter – Davis' aura happy-go-lucky, just like it always was.

"Let's see…" He scanned Takeru's figure, as if a message was written in invisible ink.

"My life is shit without you. I'm confused all the time, even more than when we were as one. I know you're mean sometimes, but so am I. And honestly, when I look into your eyes is the only time I feel I shouldn't be looking anywhere else"

Takeru had never felt so loved.

"You're so relentless" Catching the cold of blissful ignorance, the blonde laughed like back then.

The two became closer – both pairs of jewels wishing to swap colours.

"Shouldn't you not want me?" Once more disturbing the quiet, Takeru thought aloud.

"I don't care about should or shouldn't – they're always dreams"

Nearing closed eyes.

Clap (!) Clap (!) Clap (!) Clap (!)

"That was all very entertaining"

"What're you doing here, captain?" A genuine question, Davis peeked around his ex.

"Just helping Takeru out;"

The blonde, look over his shoulder, fist clenched, rage replacing adrenaline.

"You do know he's been self-harming, don't you?"

Davis, petrified by the news, kept his gaze upon Takeru, the boy facing down, tears arching they're ways to boiling point or freezing grasp.

"Why, T.K.?"

"Oh, you didn't know? It's because he hates the relationship that you both had, and unable to tell you, he simply cut himself"

"Liar!" Takeru yelled; teeth exposed like a threatened tiger.

Tai then approached them, grabbed a wrist forcefully, roughed his sleeve away, and tore the bandage all gone.

Arcing blood drip dropped, unstopped.

"But don't worry, he'll get over you; all it'll take is another session of me fucking his brains out, just like the other night"

Smack!

Tai's lip split with the impact, red almost sliding straight down; Davis' knuckles swelling, a bruise-to-be; he came just centimetres between them.

"You knew how much I loved him – I confided it only in you"

Arrow shaped hand covering wound, Tai pretended to not hear; not wanting a full-blown fight, he escaped quickly into the pink evening, orange not anywhere, with one message:

"Just wait until the team hears about you being just another dirty fag"

Door slammed shut.


	8. Final Goodbyes Cry Clear Blue Skies

**Right; another chapter and it's my longest yet, which I'm pretty damn happy about. **

**I hope you all enjoy. **

**Oh, and, to answer one of my reviewers: **

**Tai is bi – been with Matt and Sora. **

**And that he's with Matt but had sex with Takeru, just means he's been cheating on him. **

**Hope that's cleared things up for everyone! :') **

**Feedback would be lovely. :'D **

****

Almost Broken Hearted 

Chapter 7 – Final Goodbyes Cry Clear Blue Skies

Greyness against him and flood prying at his eyes, Davis was left speechless.

Capturing the blooded cloth, hand clasped tight; fabric closer, closer like a fear of farewell. Davis, honey sank into Takeru's subsiding blood run.

"I can do it"

"No" Burgundy whisper.

Knot pulled taut, Takeru winced, though no pain.

"It wasn't true, what Tai said"

"Either way, I'm involved, aren't I?" Davis, look from arm to face.

Fully dark now; black buffets wet powder; the trees cried.

"Yes – I felt I didn't deserve you, and still feel the same"

"Do you miss our old days?" Sudden question – Davis looked on.

"Every time"

"Every time what?" Table of questions turned.

"Every time of every time"

The taller boy kept low, afraid of what might happen next; nobody knew. Davis stared. Davis moved forward. Davis plucked a stray hair from Takeru's eyelash. Davis tilted his head left. Davis ran a finger down his own bare leg. Davis blinked a blink.

"Can we pretend it's our first night together, all over again?" He spoke quickly.

"What?" Takeru knew what he'd said.

"I want to forget everything, if only you'd allow tonight; I came here to get you back, and I'm not giving up"

"I don't think you're thinking straig-" Eyes still floor bound, wound probably scabbing over soon.

"Hold me closer"

Interval; Davis' tanned hands around the other's waist, chest pushed deep, creases becoming second nature; Takeru opened his mouth again, but then closed it; disgusted with how selfish he was being, the blonde crushed his eyes together, and embraced Davis openheartedly.

Davis tip-toed, cheeks millimetres in separation; palms around jaw line, eyes into eyes. Lips unlocked for only the other; almost merging, a kiss below the hallway; cascading all the way toward beneath the bedroom light.

Two boys continued to dropping onto their knees and full length of bottom legs; neat bed covering subsiding at every angle; bodies straightened tall shadow.

Davis, blinded by the kiss, rolled Takeru's shirt like a blind, tossed it to the oceanic floor and left his torso exposed. Cat hands press in the beat of the moon, treading back of spine and arch of bony hips; surrendered without a fight – just with a white waist waving within their pulse.

Tanned hand directed a ghostly one down, down, down and down, pushed between the gap of shorts and underwear; the cotton seeming comfortably warm, and the other materials not too restrained, either.

Davis' mouth ceased movement and dragged away, the both of them panting like dogs; he replaced his lips' attendance with that of fingertips – examining each crease, as if they were all incredibly rare gusts of diamonds' dusts.

Tongue trailed moisture opposite vertical, past indented navel and invitingly gapped thighs. Davis tampered with jeans' button unprofessionally; finally, a release; hole of different coloured clothing lines.

Scanning to the side, he pushed Takeru gently down who relaxed his body and kept his eyes closed within hits of passion.

With a fleet, the blonde's trousers came right off; seemingly hairless sandy branches; socks off, without any thought at all. Ends of short nails held ashen messily, scattered reedy between finger slits; the both pairs began another deep tongue karaoke.

Hand neared the pyramid between legs – turquoise sprang open.

Takeru pressed away him; confused honey.

"Turn around"

The blonde's own fingers traced roughly within Davis' inner thigh, through shorts, underwear and skin; freckles upon it stood like soldiers at ease, alertly relaxed.

Burgundy released back onto its knees, clothed bottom waiting in expectation. Takeru, arousal maximum, yanked both Davis' clothing items around his ankles; in a flurry of theirs, Takeru's own underpants flew down – its convict escaping.

Purple head became close to oval, and never hesitated – pushing deeper – simply deeper.

It didn't take long – white liquid shot, thudding into Davis, whose eyes long watered themselves.

"I love you" Davis breathed.

Collapsing onto the still shirt covered back of the tanned boy, Takeru breathed profoundly; length shrinking back automatically – head slid back onto pillows, and then black for him – breathing shallower.

Davis cocked his head behind, to find the blonde unconscious; a sigh of almost frustration, but overlooked by how beautiful Takeru looked to his eyes. Sliding the sheets from beneath them, he swivelled his lover's legs under an arm and tucked him in – just like a mother would.

Out the area, chill produced a run to the bathroom.

Thoughts, fresh from the just ordeal, Davis gripped his excitement and finished himself off; tissue discarded and flushed the evidence away.

While I was that close to him;

In my

Make believe he's in love with me.

Duvet like a robe, Davis arose, bear feet tirelessness on the floor, dirtily cloudless; heavy morning sky outside. A look behind, hair swayed wrongly, clock broken, struggling to climb its notes; ankles of bed corners ridged in the storm.

Blonde, pale boy lay asleep, valleys of quilts remained awaiting.

Honey travelled through just hours before red t-shirt, and legs covered only halfway by underwear and loose soccer shorts; tanned fingers rolled one sock on, then the other.

Riddling his way toward nowhere, Davis just sat at the other boy's desk, and scanned absentmindedly; wanting simply to pass the time, more than actually looking for anything.

A lined sheet of ripped paper, just underneath the bottom – probably lack of scissors; pink and orange felt tip decorated the page with letters, syllables, words, line, paragraphs, and a signature: Takeru Takeishi.

**Whiteness reflected back into pupils: I burned the crab from its shelling, And threw it back in my oceans; Falling through depths from all else, You fell through depths from all else. **

**Shoes, a one-way mutation to fins, Crashing toward like a wavelength, Water-proofed glue on cracked heart line. A bulb for my flickering love light.**

**Why didn't I let you love me? I've always loved you**

"Say you love me" Awake turquoise.

Shocked, dropped paper with little bristle; turned around, tired-eye-to-tired-eye; bruising.

"I love you"

Takeru scoffed.

"Don't lie"

Fidgeting below the covers, dressing his nudity with at least boxers, he escaped warm confines and approached.

"Please forgive me, for all I've done" Casually stated, though begging could've been read from it.

"I didn't expect you to still hold love for me – I just needed reassurance"

"Reassurance for what?"

Takeru looked directly – hide and seek with what he knew had to be spoken.

"Our final goodbye"

"What?" Stunned shout; angered with the lack of perfection held within himself.

"There's always been things pulling us apart, but I've always been the catalyst. I need to change for you; to be a patient person, who can wait for all the eternity of waiting for the moment you'll truly love me again"

"But, I love you now" Desperate intervention.

"No, you don't"

"Yes, I do! I know you're probably just wanting rid of me again, because you want the perfection I just don't hold"

"That's not true" To seem more genuine, Takeru now held Davis' face, side bangs flowing through his fingers.

"Please, just let us part; when we meet again someday, I'll have become somebody completely new for you, somebody who wouldn't hurt you, somebody who'd deserve all your love"

A look within, snow nowhere anyway.

"Okay. I'll wait for you"

"Don't just wait for me. Try and find happiness in other people; go to bars, to clubs, even the library; just, find someone to make you happy. When I've changed; if you're with someone, I'll just leave you be, but be never lonely"

"I'll wait for you, if I can choose the place"

The pause meaning a "yes", Davis continued onwards.

"Somewhere in the city, there's a bench I'll sit on every night; and the day you find me on this, out of the thousands of benches, I'm taking you back – no matter what" With the instinct of a businessman, he waited for a response.

Hand outreached; unshaken; mouths joined for a final time with this time, and this Earth; this Moon, this sun, this fire, this rain, this ocean, this cloud – this Takeru.

Shore, shaking off water, a towel; a beach; alone, a crab and seashell pressed closer, before the tide swam all, a parting – the kiss of their last goodbye.


	9. The Glass in the Grass

**This is just about the shortest chapter I've ever written – ever! **

**Though, I still think it turned out alright. :') **

**About the sex scene in the last chapter: it was necessary, for a huge amount of how people feel about each other comes out during sex, and the emotions they're feeling will be found within the metaphors of how they touched each other, who touched who, etc. **

**Feedback would be lovely. :'D **

Almost Broken Hearted 

Chapter 8 – The Glass in the Grass

Davis thrashed through his drawers, grabbed a hooded jacket and slung in on, hands still, vertical, arms parallel to the four walls, not the ceiling. He continued, pushing things into his rucksack which would keep him busy: crosswords, pens and paper; finally, the gem of his life – a picture of him and Takeru.

The boy had yet to change into some appropriate winter trousers, and retrieve some food from the fridge, when his mother walked into the bedroom.

"We need to talk about your school grades"

Revenge overlapped his veins.

"Can't you see I'm busy" A stern, unflinching, heavy look of a look.

Taken aback slightly by her usually polite son, she, in anger, pulled a hand back; fingers stretched and struck his face.

"Who do you think you are, speaking to me like that?"

Red mark burning the tears to brim his eyes, Davis growled, grabbed his backpack and pushed past his mother; rough shoulder blade.

"Fuck you!"

"Come back here, right now!"

"You treat me like shit, and I'll do the same right back"

A crash of the door – the boy thudded away.

Pain hidden beneath hooded jacket, lamps evaporating light, moon just gone; bright passages, some lonely bars full of drunks, black pavement; dry rain in fog. Restraining himself from sprinting right to Takeru's door, he relived those last moments between them; streetlights glowing like adolescent explosions.

Further away, from the centre of town, burgundy hair long not glistened, ends almost fixed to frostbitten cheeks; trembling teeth, heat shooting to abdomen, and deserting everywhere else.

As far as he could wander, minimising the chance of being one day discovered, Davis trudged through dead snow men, naked trees, frozen over water basements; dark area, flickering light; flickering night – lonely flight – lonely kite.

Quarter inch of shiny residue, covered basely, the wooden bench built after the death of some kid who got run over – name engraved onto the metal plaque. Davis rubbed his thighs vigorously, in an attempt to create warmth enough to melt the cold; he sat down quickly, wintery line dispelling painfully slow.

"Fuck off" Davis insulted the ice.

Maybe I was too loving, too close, too forward; maybe too polite, too childish; there held few miles between our houses, but perhaps a larger distance between me and him; I had only wanted to show him love, that and that only.

He'll probably not even look for me; and even if he did, what are the chances he'll find this exact bench?

At least we were closer, closest, on our last departure – a price that is this seems appropriate.

Fingers orange, numb, grasped a pen tighter than required; crossword sat incomplete, unfinished. Shivering, Davis' bare legs' muscles tightened, loosened, loosened tight; steam of a dozen breathes the only warm cloud, burgundy attempted capture, like containing a pixie, with just his frozen nets of a palm.

Searching manically, he seemed only satisfied, when that object showed his faces.

Crying touch held protectively the picture; him and Takeru, in some random field, just loving the other – those were the best of times.

Fall through non tasting grip,

Crack!

Scampering to his sore knees, Davis rescued every last shard, desperate to fix it with just his hands; sat back down, he fingered each piece of cracked glass, each crease of different angles. Blood etched its way out soon enough, little cuts, sparkling sand embedded with love.

A sob escaped finally, choking, holding breathe to reduce the chance – though the tears still ran true.

Noise through the storm; a whistle, origin: Davis' lips, though origin: unknown.

"And in the oddest of moments and just scratching My head, I'll be thinking about families n' lying in bed; Even though I believe it may not even come True, But in my mind I'm having a pretty good time With you"

Long jewelled meadow squinted with purples sprung from the darkness, sun, half burned, melted the moon's wax hotly, dripped down, melting ice, warming faces; grass vines shot up through pavement cracks, crushing wood, bricks and architecture; free greens swung with tampering the shades of wind, shaping differentially with the form of two boys of just about five years or so after, all in the wishful thinking of one Davis Motomiya;

"I've never felt this happy" Lips that would struggle to decline, even if at gunpoint.

"I'm pretty happy, too"

"Just pretty happy (?)"

"Yep; I'm happy, and you're pretty"

"Wait, what's that smell? Oh! It's just the cheese from that line"

"Well, I thought it was damn sweet"

"It was"

"And guess what? When you pout, you're cute to the point where not even a kitten could compete with you"

Red and yellow streams sat on a pew, two turtle doves swam through the dew; one of water and of gray, the other, fiery openness, and sparks of lighted day. Tanned and pale together, soft to the closeness, like dropping of a feather; words of lover to lover, words of love, all within a sheet of flood-proofed cover – Takeru and Davis kissed through the rest.

Silence within the storm, again.


	10. Thawing Icebergs

**I hope you've all enjoyed reading so far. :') **

**Feedback would be lovely. :'D :'D :'D **

****

Almost Broken Hearted 

Chapter 9 – Thawing Icebergs 

Cluttered bedroom, as if tidied by a blind man, a flick, light lines glide in; vomit stained bucket mucked the bedside, specks glistening up to the rim; shirtless blonde, duvet a swamp of creased pattern work.

Ridged stones sat down, vibrations shuffled just enough.

Dusting out gray cyan, Takeru's sight weighed down with stray ashen; he riveted a weight lift, reclining his views, morning beams suffocating night vision. A hand swing across; black; multitude of here and gone, again, eyebrows rise – mirroring sharp, lagoon treetops.

"Why did you lie to me?" Matt Ishida's voice was solid.

Deep, curdling feeling all around his chest, Takeru felt heat rise to his face, ears sparking up like a promise of firetraps; he'd been pushed into shark-infested waters.

A bottomless nothing ensued, the only something, a stare and a petrified glance itself.

Tears, tears, tears, tears; boiling up like a reverse kettle – steam to stream.

"I'm so sorry" Takeru's face choked, scrunching up unattractively, snot began its descent; scared of his brother's next action.

Matt kept his stern gaze, then neared, neared, neared, and hugged Takeru; thin arms trying to clasp all inner warmth possible. The younger sibling's body continued tensely, frozen by the moment.

"Don't cry"

"You didn't have to lie about not being ill, you know?" Matt soothed the trembling wreck in his arms.

"What?" Takeru chucked himself away, arms up in dramatic physicality.

"The other day, you said you were fine, but look at this" He collected the sick container for evidence, as if addressing it to the jury.

A look down in shame – tears formed once more. Big brother countered with another assault of affection, but all efforts dropped in vain; Takeru impossibly defended in advance.

Rubbing starry creases smooth, like icing a gateau, the younger sandy boy, castles cascading all around, sent his troops ground level; left heart flank, barrier, before the white flags blue like flying salmon.

"I need to tell you something"

"Okay. Is it good or bad?"

"Well, bad" Takeru, matter-of-factly.

Ready for an earthquake, tsunami or hurricane, he swallowed terribly.

"You know how you and Tai are dating"

"What? We're not dating!" Matt, stood in surprise and flailed his arms in some act of encouragement.

"Of course you are"

"How are we?" Desperately curious, he refreshed his perch.

"Well, he lives here, you sleep in the same room, and biggest of all: he always tells everyone how you both are so in love"

Every last drip of wording slipped curvedly down, for the first time, both their ears.

"He can't afford the rent to his own place, and he gets lonely by himself" Matt explained.

"He's been lying"

A long, unthreatened silence followed, both sibling with their own thoughts clouding even the fog and snow.

"I'll find out" The older brother spoke, assured with his own capabilities.

"And to think, I slept with the bastard" Takeru thought it was now safe.

"Wait, you're gay?"

"You're not?"

It's then, it that second of surprise and that moment of bewilderment, that the both simply laughed; laughed at their naivety, laughed at each other, laughed at themselves; laughed; for that's all they could really do.

"Okay. Until we find out what's really going on, let's agree to not mention it; deal?"

All eyes on the others – windows long diluted reds.

"Deal" And they shook hands, relief spreading like a rainbow after a sunny thundershower.

The next minutes ice-skated by; fully clothed, completely wrapped up to the peaks of his eyebrows, Takeru stood behind a little less warm Matt, both departed their home and locked the blue door with a slip and a click.

Starting gun shot.

Both brothers raced, as if they were being chased by angry rhinoceroses to the compact car; neared, then, a treasure hunt for the right one, each buried under Abominable Snowmen.

A draw, a thankful pull open, then a shivering pull closed.

Car ignition choked no fumes from the exhaust.

"Damn" Matt banged the steering wheel lightly, horn blared out, snow traipsed.

He fiddled with his key ring, as if casting a kick start magic spell.

"Now, are you going to tell me what else has been bothering you?" Matt's super power of brother mind reading really pays off, sometimes.

"Sorry?" Takeru feigned obliviousness.

"You've been so dethatched recently, and it looks like we're not going anywhere, so you're not going to wiggle out of it with the 'it's a long story' excuse" Adamant, brotherly look.

Nervous eyes all around, then a blink and a sigh; windscreen blanketed white, just white.

"You win"

Takeru's leg shook, shaking the car littlie, his ears hid themselves between winter blonde icicles, hoping for a melt or a volcano without a clue. He continued, telling, in his every heart's detail, every detail of every detail of him and Davis.

Wall of tundra never sleeping, treading bonnet and wing mirrors like keen hikers near the summit; the younger boy finished his bittersweet reminiscences; Matt placed his fingerless gloved hands in a cocoon around his brother's, and his neck comforting sorrowful ashen.

"This hurts so badly. What can I do?" Takeru pulled back, looking up innocently.

"Cry in the shower, hug a pillow at night, raid tissue boxes, if it helps; but really, all that'd lead to is you here and him there"

"I don't understand" Blinks.

"If you spend your time waiting on dreams, that's all they'll ever be"

Thump of snow, fallen to its death.

"Check the glove box" Matt almost ordered.

Takeru's fingers unravelled from between his brother's, etching forward, he clasped the frozenly stubborn handle and yanked it toward himself; lay flat open, only a messy oval of a rectangle called out.

"What is this?" He asked his knowing future self rhetorically, bringing the paper to his eyes, unfolding the aforementioned divide lines:

**Your face again, just within a new face On the usual bus home; Running dry, Can't you see how empty I've become? **

**A look away, I say nothing; But inside, My heart, it screams: "Love me! Love me! Fill me to the very top with even this heartbreak, Just love me! Love me" **

"**Maybe we weren't meant for happily ever after, But our story doesn't need to end; We could be close like emperor penguins, Untended, To the point of suffocating" **

**Your face again, just within a new person's eyes On our usual hanging note; Desert dry, Can't you see how empty I am? **

"**See you! Farewell! Goodbye! Au Revoir!" What loneliness invented this? **

"Who was this for, Matt?" Takeru attempted his most comforting voice.

"Love" Matt stopped, and then continued:

"Do you know how much I'd give for love? I see it everywhere, every pretty face or charming individual, every cute pair of eyes or sweet voice; I feel so connected, though we never meet, because it's the only thing which stays the same – this same love, it haunts me"

Takeru struggled to comprehend what his brother meant, but leaned over and hugged him, all the same; the moment he first saw Matt cry.

"Anyway;"

A sniff, like another's child.

"I think, with how you've treated Davis in the past; if he's stuck with you through all that, then he must really love you; you should find him, apologise, and tell him yourself how much you truly want him again, just like when you told me" Another pause, allowing the liquid to absorb the sponge, then a final addition;

"Don't just rely on your heart – sometimes, even love needs a helping hand"


	11. Amity from the Ashes

**Longest chapter yet! :') **

**Feedback would be lovely! :'D :'D **

****

Almost Broken Hearted 

Chapter 10 – Amity from the Ashes

Castle of snow mid-horizon, icicles in faces, thick cloud of fog, but the path was known so easily.

"So, you think he'll still love me?" Takeru smiled hugely, just not caring the cold.

"Definitely!" Not sure really, but willing to pretend, Matt continued alongside.

The school appeared; a frozen relic within an icy milkshake sugar globe.

"He'll be getting changed for practice" Unbelievably energised and happy, Takeru almost yelled.

"Go and get him" A friendly order from Matt, received with a hug, and a running away sibling.

And so Takeru made headway toward the locker rooms.

Mind filled with apologies and words of love just never said, the blonde moved quickly, crunches of powder encouragement, and twigs from trees, reminders of how he used to be; now, desperate to flourish from those days and mists.

The door was nothing special; just a door; he pondered why one would expect differently; stopped; opened a spread palm, ready to push and see his love.

"Hold it– only team members can go in there" An authority figure, strong willed voice.

Turn around; the coach; Takeru had to think quickly.

"I am a foreign exchange student from the international team 'Goûts Pain Français De Nice' representing France; I'm here to show your boys some new tricks. Didn't your boss tell you about me?" Smacking himself mentally for how lame his accent and overall performance was, and hoping the coach knew no French and didn't know that in actuality, he'd just made up a team called 'French Bread Tastes Nice' (The only French he'd learnt); so then he thought it incredible when the coach guided him toward the store cupboard:

"Oh, yes; follow me"

"These should fit okay" Shorts, t-shirt, trainers and socks, simply thrown at the blonde.

"Thank you, monsieur" He doubted highly the coach's words

"Through that door"

'New' kit still in his paws, Takeru struggled to remain conspicuous between the rows of clothes pegs and half-naked soccer players – speak of black and white ball foreign to his virgin ears. Picking a space roughly faraway, chapped wood at each side and a quite off-putting smell engulfed the area like a boomerang.

Davis was not to be found.

Shyly having to get on with it, Takeru, a glance to every direction, unzipped all above waist, and lastly pulled his t-shirt from his small shoulders, revealing womanly shaped figure – obvious to all looking he wasn't a veteran soccer player.

As the blonde finished his transformation, a shorter male, perhaps just as old, looked onward, and unconvinced.

The boy stuck eyes onto Takeru, mousy hair barely covering his ears; brown strokes never failed to cover one of his lime jewels. Clothes polka dotted with holes and long burned stains, he slung his equally worn backpack off and took his regular seat – corner of the room.

Though his appearance was unruly, and his garments dirty beyond dirty, the boy obviously held incredible influence between his many friends on the team.

With them on their walk to the soccer pitch, Tai wasn't; thankful of this; Takeru based all his attention on keeping a casual face while trying his hardest to maintain even the slowest of the others' hasty paces.

Shorts fitting irregularly, showing more thigh than his fellow sportsmen, and his shirt, more arm; incredibly self conscious about those things, Takeru kept between packs, not wanting a full exposing of himself, in the middle of everyone.

Lagging behind, just about near the summit; a fenced off field which overlooked most of the grounds, steep slopes surrounding. Hands to his knees, Takeru breathed heavily, unaware before of how unfit he was, and how much work Davis must put his body through, and without every complaining – not a single time, or once.

A tough hand pushed Takeru against the woven fence, tingling ran all around.

"I know what you are – fag"

Strong greyness, a curdling sound, and then a line of spit slipping down the attacker's face.

Pulled back fist, a block; the boys struggled, moving forward and back, until a rolling; a rolling; both soccer clad teens tumbled down the grass' splintered edges, ice smutting off; frozen whiteness pounced, until a smack.

Smack!

Lime squinted in pain, hands forced to its ankle. Takeru crawled over apologetically, looking over the covered hurting. The boy pulled away, like a pouting child; then Takeru, like the mother, looked anyway.

"It looks pretty bruised. Are you okay to walk?"

"Does it fucking look like it (?)" Water filled.

"Come here, then"

Takeru held out an arm in helping; the boy wouldn't look, yet not knowing the blonde was stubborn as a daughter wanting a pony. Eyes rolled, distracting themselves playfully with nothing, Takeru just stayed put.

"Fine" The boy complied, grappling onto him, and leaning into his shoulder with each step.

Slowly back into the empty locker room, with no more words between them, Takeru sat him down, and parked close by, near their reverse pole positioned places.

"Your name must be Takeru, right?" The boy looked to the side, seemingly in hate with himself for igniting conversation.

"How did you know that?"

"Davis never shuts up about you"

"I thought only Tai knew" Not even sure he should've revealed that – it was too late.

"He's told everybody individually; we've all promised to keep the same secret from each other; I, one day, overheard him telling another"

Something akin to silence came over them; not even a fly dare buzz a buzz.

"I don't know how you soccer guys do it" Rubbing his bare arms with his one free hand, Takeru demonstrated the chilled chilly chills.

"When you're running around after a ball, I guess you just heat up" A not unnoticed shiver ran through the brunette's teeth.

Cyan to him, then to the boy's empty clothes peg, Takeru reached for his own, grasping like that seen on a James Bond movie; but for a coat, not some swiftly counting down nuclear time bomb.

"You look frozen – here" Warily draping the warmth around the shorter one's tensed frame, blonde wished for a receiving.

Lime eyes narrowed with his mask's failure, but then widened with surprise; this stranger's selflessness the culprit.

With a grateful sniff, "My name's Suki, by the way".

"Suki?"

"Suki"

"Well, Suki, shall we have a look at this boo boo of yours" Like a mother again, Takeru managed to not laugh entirely.

Lime narrowed eyes, but a hint of playfulness.

"Sorry – couldn't resist"

And they both laughed.

Takeru removed Suki's trainer and rolled his sock down just enough; purple from the collision, bent slightly with a dent.

"It's a little bruised, but I think the rest might just be cramp"

"Just (?) Have you ever fucking had this?" They laughed again.

The blonde continued, not really knowing what he was doing, but massaging impressively well.

"Right – this might hurt a lot"

"Wait; aren't you meant to sa-"

Click.

"Ow! You fucker!"

"Keep your hand here for a while, or I'll have to do it again" Takeru guided his hand to the massive pain already gone; no persuasion necessary.

Green grass stains grew a few more minutes old.

"Do you think I'm ugly?" Suki asked quickly.

"Erm… I mean; Well, I know you like guys; so…" He added.

"Never mind – I was being stupid" Third vomiting of words.

"No – I don't think you're ugly. Don't think you have to be mean to get people to like you" Taking a huge risk, Takeru spoke his true opinion.

Suki opened in mouth in maybe protest, but closed again as his realisation melted between the cracks.

Grass, by now, a full tree of blanches and soft fleeces.

"I wanted to apologise, for spitting at you" Takeru, guilt tugging him to words.

"You shouldn't be being so nice to me; I'm a horrible person"

"I don't blame you for hating me, not just for what I am, but for what I've done. Just know, I never chose to be like this, and I intend to tell Davis how sorry I am"

The boys' two smiles – like sun melting through gateau.

"It's obvious you aren't a soccer player, were you here to find him?"

"Yes, isn't he supposed to be in practice now?"

"No-one's seen him all day" Suki's information stung, just like sitting on a cactus.

School bell rung out, echoing through the entire complex, even all around the grounds; worn out, sweating boys rushed through every one of the single entrances; chanting war stories of the game just played.

The quiet was cut to pieces after that.

"It's okay if you don't want to be seen around me, you know?" Takeru assured, not wanting to tarnish his new acquaintance's reputation.

Lime eyes.

"Here he is – Davis' whore – the dirty fag – Takeru Takeishi"

Tai stood high above, wooden balcony overlooking the locker room, sandy colouring down below, mixed with blacks, brunettes, blondes and red-heads.

Every pair of differently themed jewels turned to stare at the pale boy, accusing stares, full of already knowing, but somewhere surprise and the need to fit in, all in some deadly stares.

"Teach that fucker a lesson" Tai ordered.

They advanced, like robots; bolts clicking with each movement; set to 'Attack' mode.

"Stop!" Suki voiced through the chaos – clear blue in the husk.

The wave halted a little, Suki stood unsteady in front of the blonde, arms outstretched protectively.

"When Davis was dating Takeru, how did he act?"

There was a silence.

"Well?" Suki, angry, demanded an answer"

There was still silence.

"He was happy. Full right to the fucking brim with the stuff; to find something like that, I think it's something we all envy, isn't it?" He ceased for a quick stare.

"It doesn't matter what sex we are; if two people can make each other happy, what else matters?" It all seemed like a cliché.

"But, if you insist on hurting my friend; well, I'll defend him with everything I have" Suki finished, and stood stern – unmoving from Takeru's view.


	12. Sun and Snow

**Okay, now this is the longest chapter yet for this story, so please forgive me for the massive time it took to complete. **

**Feedback would be lovely! :'):'):')**

Almost Broken Hearted 

Chapter 11 – Sun and Snow

Soccer boots half-way had glances, half of which lay naked or so that seemed; nearing with the tiniest of falter, they came again.

"Don't listen to Tai; he's the reason Davis isn't here!" Suki yelled, though it seemed a whisper within the ignorant rabble.

"Calling him a fag and stuff; he's going to leave the team soon if it doesn't stop!"

And with that, like the Nile the wave parted ways; gap through the middle exposed, before a voice made itself called out for:

"I never wanted to hurt Davis"

"Yeah, me neither" Another chirped up.

Fifty four, or so, shades of colours, of eyes highlights, stared at their captain.

"You're all idiots!" Tai barked, and made his exit.

No-one followed.

Takeru smiled at their change of character, and moved toward the break in their ranks.

"Wait right there" The second in command ordered.

"Huh?" Not so neutral or allied, anymore.

"Davis has told us all, all about you; if we let you go, he'll take you back; you'll just hurt him again" Another voice, then another, and another; all, the same purpose; message of them all – all.

"No, I won't" It landed on deaf ears.

"Prove it"

Suki attempted argument, but the blonde raised a hand in silencing, and it flourished. He closed his eyes, ready, then changed his mind, opened them, closed them, just blinking; a view of cyan, which just didn't falter.

"I've never been the most observant person, or the most open-eared. There are many things I just didn't hear, and I feigned so much" He paused, a look to his pale thighs.

"How can I promise we'll never fight? How can I be sure no-one loves him the ways I do, if I promised him that, how could I promise him anything?" Takeru shot a direct look to the stronger blinds, quivering nowhere.

"I've said I love you; but it wasn't me. I never knew anything of love, but now it's come; love's all the promises you don't promise, all the kisses without butterflies, all those cracks in hearts, just remaining open, for that just one person; a danger without endangerment; bewilderment without a without map, or compass – that defines love – and no explanation could define such a thing"

The crowd remained sturdy, yet puzzled by his speech from heart.

"Fuck it" He breathed with a sigh.

"Suki, do the honours, would you?" A turn and smile.

"Of course" Suki, obeying, moved over to a black sound box, and pushed 'on'.

Takeru climbed a few wooden stair steps, overlooked fully by the baffled crowd and black and white balls which littered. Guitar chords exploded loudly, all ancient to the brunette near the source; they began moving together, both unaware where this was truly headed.

"Why did you turn the radio on?" The blonde hissed through a whisper.

"You said: "Do the honours" Suki argued back.

"I meant get me a soccer ball"

But, why?" Blink; through their random swaying and ventriloquist mouth movements.

"For a metaphor these stupid soccer players would understand"

"Hey, watch it!" The brunette playfully hushed.

"Sorry. Anyway, looks like we're stuck with this, now" Takeru concluded, song lyrics almost breaking open.

"I don't even know the words!"

"Neither do I, just-"

"**When I'm one!"** Suki echoed suddenly, from behind; all the players' eyes still attached to the pair.

Music became fully upright now, the blonde's turn in entrance; he smiled awkwardly; the two of them, a rolling forward of hand movements and jigs from aside-to-topside.

"**I've been wondering about my love with you, that I've never dared to show" **

"**He's been trying to speak his heart, but he just doesn't have a clue" **Suki's hand to the blonde's chest, melodramatically.

"**You've gone missing, 'cause I am such a jerk; I'm sorry for leaving you alone" **

"**Got soccer kit on; he's no stamina, but his love for that someone is you" **Takeru and the other bumped together; a thud, before recovering the chorus;

"**Davis, when I'm one! I compromise memories; we are there then gone, and the sight's just seem so old" **

"**Even sleeping doesn't help; dreaming doing all I can't" **

"**You are all I want; Davis, when I'm one"**

Thankfully, the song was a radio-edit, and ended abruptly short; silence hung heavy in the air.

The pair stood in a pose of finale, hands raised like Broadway stars; yet, their courage flickered away with each silenced second in passing.

That same sergeant came across the elastic band, without a snap, and smiled, but then it dropped as his thoughts lost hope.

"There are a thousand places he might be"

"You won't help?" Takeru and Suki spoke in unison.

Anticipation lurched in every shadow, every blocked piece of glass, of light bound expectations; cradling what hope remained, deep within somewhere.

They begged silently.

"Perhaps; just as long as you don't get all the credit for finding him" A broad smile, mirrored around at light speed.

"Right"

The hours that crawled by after that, chugged along with broken engines; tired tires tiring the road, lightings growing darker; all this shook up the gravel. Takeru stood in the blackening evening street, Matt before him; all the events of the day crashing down painfully slow.

"He'll probably be on the streets somewhere" The younger blonde worried.

"Or he could just be at home, ill"

"But his mum's such a cow; I bet she made him run away again" Almost arguing within his distaste for the female.

"Well, at least we know he'll probably be on such bench somewhere?" Matt spoke, rolling his eyes a little.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Anger and a push fell.

"Well; after what happened between you two"

"I don't mean that. I mean, are you blaming me?" He spat.

"No, I-"

"There's no need – I already blame myself for everything, anyway" Takeru quieted down, sorrow injecting over all else.

"You're tired. Come and get some rest; let everyone else look for a while"

"I should be the only one searching – it's my fault – they should just go home"

"It's their choice; I don't think they're going anywhere" A glance around, not seeing anyone; but still, it yet held ambivalences.

"You think you always know fucking best!"

"Excuse me?" Like a shocked mother.

"I'm sick of it, Matt! Get the fuck off my back!"

Takeru spat with great emotion, and turned a heavy walk away; Matt simply kept while the clouds began to leak around him; the moon went; ruin of pathways disappearing – just disappearing; the younger blonde had never before shouted toward him in such a way.

With gray agitation, orange with cold chills, Matt kept his gaze down; the riveting water puddles vibrated like speakers. Through locked teeth, the world expected anger, yet the receiving lay not largely different; he whispered.

"I'm sorry"

Thinks he knows everything; he didn't even know me and Davis were fucking together! Takeru thought destructively, pounding his way through a sheet and another of liquids, all pale, clear and not tranquil. Melted icebergs; sodden trainers decided, uncalled, where to now move; Davis' house not seen in the blonde's hazy, rain-spiked vision.

If that bitch has done anything to him, I'll… Takeru continued along, cursing the tanned boy's mother; all without conclusions; slow.

Thunderous thuds upon blue door, chipped paint echoed bangs before; new dust specking off with each fresh strike. The thumping didn't cease until the door swung hesitantly narrow.

Takeru attempted a leisurely, casual face state.

"Who are you?" Female voice, honey eyes through the crack.

"One of Davis' friends; is he in?"

"Yes, but he's very ill" Little wider now; swift, rehearsed answer.

"Well, I'll just go up and see him, then" The blonde called her bluff, attempting passage past.

"No"

"Why not?" Quick, agitated.

"It's very contagious; what would your parents say I-"

"They're dead"

Suddenly, in all the rain and chaos, a content moment showed its face; water drops fading, cityscape glistening; quiet between the cracks; chance of night rainbow. A head around, then a spin around once more, determined.

"I'll just say hi" Budging by, laughing coyly, the blonde giggled, placing the woman's arms away from barrier position.

Their sounds echoed, squeaking on laminated floorboards, Takeru's freezing feet; part of him wishing his ex's mother was legit'. Right up the stairs, fourth on the left, past the empty rooms and bare windowpanes.

Twists of the door handle later,

Takeru's eyes stayed wide, though he wasn't expecting to see the other.

The pale boy stepped forward sorrowfully; picture frames containing the two of them decorated randomly, orange duvet littered with cushions, DVDs, books and clothes – Davis must've really left in a hurry, he concluded.

The blonde trod back to ground level, nearing noise of quiet tears drip dropping on white spaghetti at the edges rug. She quickly attempted

"My name's Suiko" She held a hand out, but remained unrelieved.

"We had an argument"

"I never wanted him to go" She continued.

"But he's told me about you – you always ignore him"

"Only when I watch my hospital drama"

"But what makes that so special?"

Then there came the silence.

Suiko stood blankly, walked like a robot to an ivory varnished set of drawers, and collected a watered stain of a photograph with fresh tears all her own. She handed Takeru the frozen time, though it obvious she disliked parting in this fashion.

"He used to watch it; though I hated it, I'd still endure it, just for him – it's all I have to remember my husband by"

The good times of the square seemed miles of old-fashioned words away; a Christmas tree, baubles unbroken decorating; Davis, 'Power Rangers' pyjamas, his attire, gaining a piggyback from his father; the both of them at their merriest.

"I'm sorry"

"Don't apologise. I'm a terrible person. First, I drove my husband away, and now I've done the same to Davis" She took the photograph back; to her, one frame had already vanished, and the other slowly etching its way away.

"Maybe…"

She looked up naively, like a child to Santa Claus.

"Maybe he just slipped away; they say that before you find your true love, your heart is all cracked and frozen; then, when you find the one to love you, it melts all the frost away; the only then is that melting ice is slippery, and they slide right back out of your life" The woman nudged closer.

"So, it was inevitable? How can anyone ever love, if that's going to happen?"

"That's the price of it, I guess; knowing you may one day lose the one thing which you've allowed yourself to struggle to live without."

"I have nothing left" Realisation pained their chests.

"You have Davis, and he loves you; although he thinks you're a little bossy at times, he does; he understands that as a mother you need to do stuff like that"

"He told you this?" Slight hope; just some of it; somewhere.

"Yep"

Takeru smiled a true smile, teeth exposed slightly, and it caught hold of Davis' mother, like the plague.

"I need to find him" She stood unexpectedly, sudden rush of surprise ran through the blonde's cheeks.

"Don't do anything; let me look; if I can't find him by tomorrow, I'll ring the police" Takeru attempted a deal.

"But he's my son"

"Yes, and he wouldn't want you catching your death" The woman calmed a little at this, fully aware of how overprotective Davis can get, sometimes; though one in this scenario was rarely appropriate, she released a fond giggle of remembrance.

Flickering honey opening once more, she continued smiling, happy that Davis, though he held few, truly had the best of friend (s).

"You're sweet"

A tender grapple and squeeze of the blonde's hand

"If you're this sweet, why were you so angry when you got here?" She inquired.

"Oh, you could tell that that?"

"I have a teenager of my own, after all"

Takeru looked ashamedly downward, drenched bangs sticking to his face as if super glued, always unmoving.

"I was just frustrated, that's all; that I hadn't found him yet" Takeru Ignored the urge to tell the truth that he was to blame, and lied.

Another silence, like that found in outer space.

"I'm sorry for dripping on your carpet"

Outside again, for barely six minutes, when a car pulled up to his side; lights blistering through the dark chocolate orange hues; sound of window winding downward; breathy about to speak; cut off with a younger pitched onward.

"I promised his mum I'd find him" Takeru voiced, knowing who it was; walk increased volume.

"Come back home; look in the morning" The usual, calm voice of Matt.

"I need to look"

"If you make yourself ill tonight, you won't be able to look tomorrow" The older sibling attempted.

"If I find him tonight, no-one will have to look tomorrow"

Silence; just the wind, the snow, the ice, the dead trees; knuckles dyed white with frustration curled into snowballs; Matt thinned his eyes over, blue frosting over the rest.

"Just get in the fucking car!" Takeru almost leapt back in shock; his brother had never before raised his voice, even in the slightest. Apprehensively, Takeru nudged closer, opened the vehicle's door and sat slowly down.

Four blue lagoons stared forward, blurred lights moving in the night.

Still silence.

"Look-" Matt tried, Takeru flinched.

"I'm not going to hurt you; you know that, right?" The other was shaking; tears fell sharply, and pained his weight with the sight.

"I'm sorry, Takeru"

"It's not you. It's just; we'll never find him, will we?"

No silence, not a fucking glimmer of the stuff was allowed.

"Of course we will" One arm around his brother's shoulders, Matt smiled, a part of red lip touching ashen hair clouds.

"Look, I promised mum, all that time ago, that I'd protect you, no matter what; and that counts for inside and out. So, if finding Davis will take care of your heart, then even if everyone else stops searching, I never will – and of this, I promise forever" Matt's voice held that passion again, but for the powers of sun, instead of snow.

"Thanks for coming to get me" Impaling his pride, Takeru swallowed hard, and coughed; smoke jetting, a warm, three second holiday for the cold, cold air.

And that was the last sentence spoken.

The last sentence needed.

Clouds outside the window turning monsoon; even this yellow moon, a deep sand dune; Takeru lay frustrated, duvet upturned, lumps of incorrect distribution within, face into pillow, then a roll of ear and to the side, cyan eyes turning mistier with each star passing blindly by.

Sounds of house asleep, but the blonde wavering on; outside dreams, awake reality of Davis all alone and at a place unknown. Pain in chest lingering on, he arose, scattering the way toward his dusty portfolio.

Long, pale fingers peeled back the cover – a picture of some random bird flying south for the winter, high above the trees and ignoring all else. Flicking pages across like slices of cheese, Takeru stopped suddenly at his destination – a still image of some school trip to the city's zoo;

He'd been asked to take a picture for the school newsletter, of the entire class; what was made, however, was just a zoomed in frame of a burgundy haired boy, hardly in the original, petting a meerkat through its home; content to not be involved – oblivious to everything, even the flash in daylights, headlight not found.

Needless to say, he was fired from the post of school photographer, after that.

Takeru returned to bed, the album remained, lying unturned.

"But I'm not even tired" Davis had whined, sitting right up, covers falling into his lap.

"Yes, you are"

Takeru attempted to tuck him in once more, aware he'd need is energy for his game, the next day.

"I'm not – I want to stay with you"

"We won't be so far apart – I'll be here until you sleep" A promise.

"But, you're not there then"

Davis stubbornly countered, folding his arms and turning slightly away, though not really wanting there to be more than little inches between them.

"Dream of me" Takeru meant as a question, but transformed it an order.

"How am I supposed to control what I dream about?" Further riled up, tanned boy, uncooperative, and seemed genuine.

"First, say goodnight"

"Good night" Davis spoke off his shoulder, not really believing.

"Now, close your eyes"

Reluctantly, his honey disappeared.

"Lay down" Takeru enveloped the duvet around him once more, and laid it atop; next to him, arms encircling strong waist.

"Remember this feeling of being in my arms, and take it with you; then, once there, remember all my words and let them spiral into wonderful images of the two of us not apart; all in one of our most amazing kisses"

"And you'll be waiting for me, in a dream of your own?" Davis continued, growingly drowsy.

"Of course" The blonde nudged his nose into his boyfriend's, stroking lightly together, craving a kiss, but leaving it at this.

"Then, there'll be morning lights fading the night away, and I'll have never left"


	13. Open Armed Wintry

Almost Broken Hearted 

Chapter 12 – Open Armed Wintry

Lost fingers traced each grid reference, perplexed lines were all they felt. No Davis. No Davis.

Blizzard wind through the crack in the window, spinning of a long received gift; windmill crafted from old match sticks and loose, stray pulled apart paper clips – a smile from Takeru's lips anymore, now.

I simply wish to find you, he thought through the caramel and marzipan; it's such a simple wish, but its absence is why my tears fill because of this, my love; ashen soft as tissue, another circle of heatless feeling.

Park swings flutter the wings of two turtle doves; the spectrum of yesterday, unsalted peacock tail:

Wooden, cracked bench, seats either side, varnished mahogany; almost perfected jigsaw lay tabletop. Takeru sat peacefully, feet bobbing into the other, bored with the easiness of the afternoon, and lack of straining brain muscles over such a mediocre activity.

Shard by shard, the picture filled itself in.

A see-through gap – all the way to the grass; cyan eyes stared.

Dandelion rested its nest upon the incompletion, finger nails not bothering to awaken.

"Want some help?" Davis, ball rolling in his grip endlessly, offered.

Takeru didn't answer. Not spoken, just a shake of his cool chin.

"Okay. Well, it's a water lily, right?" Leaning completely over a smaller shoulder, burgundy hair dropped a bit – smelt like cherries – cherries and Battenberg.

"Yeah, could be" Pale cheeks rose with those three words of sarcasm.

"Just you wait there" The shorter boy then dashed away.

You didn't have to be rude; Takeru's conscious invaded his mind. You know, one day you're going to have to stop opening these cracks all the way back up, again? Another summertime winter blues' voice of what he knew should be done.

"You don't know that it'll just leave another hole" The blonde's lips accidentally parted with this speech, clumsily.

"Here you go" Davis returned, pink flower cupped between his unusually dainty fingers.

Those same digits sprouted the item from dark mousy brown bottom and flourished it completely within the empty space, if only momentarily.

Coldness shot bitter reality back to the lion:

Love doesn't care of civilian casualties – you're lost – it's because I deserve to have cold things happen to me. I'm sorry for being such a criminal.

Smaller hour hand of sand lay crumbling further down before an empty dawn; Takeru watched intently, the sky; the stars up above wondering what he was looking at. He didn't know, though.

Tap; tap; tap, tap; tap!

Forty three waxed moons ago; 6AM:

"Come on, I need to get up!"

"Just one more second!"

"There you go"

"You knew what I meant"

"Seriously – pictures won't take themselves, you know"

"Alright"

"Davis; just four more minutes, then; Davis, before I go out into the cold; Davis, I want to show you something"

Takeru had tackled the other down, not undone, of course, and began deeply kissing his boyfriend. Wristwatch fell from grasp and tilted onto the hard floor; time continued to tick by, though.

Sun growingly higher, shadows progressively nearer, both forms still stuck together.

"I have to-"

The pair lay centimetre apart, breath on the others' faces, pillow crumpled exactly the same; honey to cyan – bright, bright, orange cyan.

"Davis; we'll spent tonight together; Davis, I'm definitely going now; Davis, watch the snowflakes outside, and think of me to send some warmth"

Forty four waned moons later; 3AM:

"Can we talk?" That voice – Tai Kamiya.

Open window from the noise, small crack; grey again eyes, all the way down to blue chocolate on the only place where no snow lay.

"Screw you" A simple phrase, duck back inside and grab of his hat.

"Why are you still here? You're not actually surprised at my reaction, are you?" Blonde mostly covered, but side bangs and fringe, barely.

"Can you come down here?" Tai's casualness through the dark words – stood stubbornly.

"Don't waste my time!"

"Just hear me out; please?" More soft, the brunette looked down submissively.

Playing soccer with the crossroads of his mind, Takeru winced as he weakened and the ball shot toward the direction of downward to Tai.

"Wait there" Another strong order.

Fragile glass surrounded with icy frame closed; Takeru stepped skinny legs into his earlier trousers, and yanked a grey t-shirt over his littlie sideways top. After, like a ninja, escaping his home without waking Matt, ashen bounced in a white knuckle ride down the many steps down the complex.

Snow riddled between bare toes, not long before turning bluer.

Wind didn't exist.

"Why are you here?" Takeru spoke sternly, eyes strong and unwavering.

"I'll admit, when I did all that horrible stuff, it made me happy – it felt good to make people feel what I felt – someone to understand exactly why I did it"

Tai's eyes never showed colour, or middle, at all;

"But after it all, I'm still hollow"

Takeru stepped forward.

"Are you talking about how you lied to me and my brother?"

"Yes"

"Why did you do it?" Almost a demand, a numbing face borderline hissed.

"To pretend I'm not lonely" That hit a nerve.

Takeru couldn't do anything. Sympathy and relation sparked all around like hot aches.

"And, let me guess: you feel as if that's all you've got?" More understanding than angry, anymore; the blonde questioned smoothly.

The silence said it all.

One way, one way, one way; two other side of cluttered wardrobe; fruitless search of something to wear; Davis' head vanished, varnished with clothing – eruption of 'Clutter Volcano'.

Baseball cap? No.

Bandana? Maybe… Not.

Green? Blue? Yellow? Brown?

Not likely…

"Are you alright in there?" Takeru's voice sounded – outside the door.

Lone sock ripped off, then the other; no glance to the lopsided mirror.

"Yes – I'm fine!"

"Why are you always getting changed, anyway?" He'd been ready for that, the long queued questions.

Davis had no answer to that.

"Erm… My mum drenched everything in wine" He quickly improvised – fingers crossed lightly.

A laugh… Two laughs.

"How the heck did she manage that?"

"Oh; well, you know how she is…"

"Well, not really – this is my first time here; remember?"

Burgundy dropped in remembrance of what must be done; teeth pepped against the others, and all the rest of him slid against the door lifelessly.

"Actually, Takeru"

"Yeah?" Casual – not expectant.

"She doesn't know I'm gay" Davis stressed his eyelids as one.

"What; so, she doesn't even know I'm here?" More surprised than mad.

"No"

"So, the person I just heard calling you from downstairs…" Trailing off; almost with humour.

"Shit! Get in here!"

Davis nested the lemon and yanked Takeru inside with himself.

"I'm sorry – I knew it'd be a crazy chance – especially expecting you wouldn't ask any questions; but I guess I just wanted you more in my life"

"I should be the one who's sorry – not giving you enough time to get changed"

All four eyes lowered; lowered past bare shoulders, chest and belly button; past the slight clothing of underwear, bony knees and short legs, and small toes.

"Shit! This is so embarrassing"

"Don't worry about it… In fact" Takeru reassured, and began tugging at his naturist collar.

"No, Takeru; no!" Davis laughed enormously, bending down and grasping his stomach in hysterical pain – like that of hitting your funny bone.

"It won't look as bad" Ignoring him, the blonde continued undressing.

"Won't look as bad? It'll look a million times terrible-er"

"…That, Davie, is a chance I'm willing to take…"

After that was said; there lay a pleasant silence-

"Are we going to go look for Davis, or what?" Tai's voice beamed him back to the present.

"Wait; you want to look for Davis?" Takeru shook his head out of memories, and into Shock Mode.

"You didn't think I was just here to give you my sob story, did you?"

"No; I mean… Why are you trying to help me?"

"It's my fault he's gone" Genuine.

"Look-" Cut-off.

"Let's just go, before I change my mind"

A swallow. A nod.

"Thanks" A smile; maybe two.

"You know; this love you share – it can drive a guy crazy"


	14. FullStop

**Thank you, everybody, for reading this far. **

**This is the final chapter, and the end of one of my most enjoyable to write stories. That may seem very odd, seeing as it's one of my most depressing ones, but yeah. **

**Hope you all enjoy this final instalment. **

**And reviews would be lovely. **

Almost Broken Hearted 

Chapter 13 – Full-Stop 

Takeru and Tai walked relentlessly through the orange dim of street lighting, but to the blonde, he was just alone with his thoughts. The thoughts traversed upon his and Davis' first meeting again, but the true happenings came forward this time:

Takeru stood on the edge, bits chipped off with his weight; the bridge made a human groan.

"You don't want to do that, you know?"

As if the calm water bellow had spoken, the blonde's hair whooshed as he didn't turn.

"Have you ever loved at all?"

The tanned boy behind him swallowed hard.

"Yes"

"I don't mean that kind of love. I mean the love between parents and child" A pause, then a look up.

"I was thinking of them again, just now, and I remembered how funny life was when they were around"

"It can still be funny" Crimson hair tried to persuade.

"Can it?" A sorrowful smile.

"Of course! And lovely, and sweet and joyful and everything"

"You sound so sure. Are you a fortune teller?"

"Yes" Davis lied, but was honest in a way, sliding a hand open and climbing up next to the tearful boy.

"Promise me, then; promise me I'll someday feel really like I belong, again"

"I promise"

"Are you okay?" Tai asked to the frozen Takeru.

"Of course" Watery eyes with how susceptible he was to yesterday, but still a stronger voice than that.

"Just checking"

"He always had this way" Takeru smiled fondly, and continued.

"I'd be completely pissed off with him, and I'd be feeling, as usual, nothing for him at all, then, out of nowhere, I'd be loving him, just like that"

"Maybe you'd loved him all along?" Tai suggested, but the blonde stumbled over it.

"And how could he treat me so well; how could you love someone who gave you nothing at all?" Penultimate speech before the silence in the future.

"Sounds exactly like love"

We never really had a loving relationship, not from me, anyway; that's why we're apart now.

I guess I've been scheming all along, even against myself.

All that's happened from my lips are lies, I've adored you and it's never been fading, since our first road together; the name of the game changed so frequently; you drew red heart pictures, complete, unbroken ones, while I played 'Monopoly'.

I always thought you were being ignorant of my cracked heart, but you were just not crying over a broken heart; you'd focused your attention on fixing it, fixing it just for me.

We've had moments of whispers, whispers of tears, tears of truth, and cocoons of madness, dreams of sadness and pulling loose on those nights which never lasted.

Still, if we were the same type of magnet, I'd still find a way for us to react and attract me, and you with your favourite touch, and pull closer toward endlessness; I'm going to try, in this final time now, just in case I never find you, to tell you exactly that I'll never leave you.

It was always a mystery to me; you were my enigma; why would you like someone with crappy blonde hair, a boy with no freckles and no complexion to speak of, an apple tree without any apples; while you, a lighthouse shone throughout that night.

I wish I hadn't put you out.

If we meet once more, like I really want to be sure that we will, I'll banish all your demons, sew all the holes in our denim, bandage the cuts and scrapes;

I was supposed to feel nothing for you; that's exactly how I'd planned it, but you deserve to hear the truth;

Takeru sat alone, just after the end. Piano keys hung down and up, multiplied things with black dog kennels, or so-to-speak, trees on a branch filled with leaves and thistles clambering down onto the tracks, beneath.

Purple roses on a front; windowsill in all the husks – ashen kept on.

Melody arouse to a miniature peak, mark point for a speech arrival; well known tune to his ears, learning it since the end, around thirteen hours ago;

Just plain desert clothes.

Break; Image of watercolour suns – Takeru sang.

A stand up, arms stretched to their complete length to reach the keys.

Just silence.

Takeru rolled his father's old piano, back to sleep in the cupboard.

For, after all, you gave me love, when I only gave you nothing at all.

**The End**


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